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17 August 2012 @ 07:54 pm

You Scored as Switch















Exhibitionist / Voyeur






Current Location: home
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: Regina Spektor: Samson
30 July 2012 @ 12:27 am
So, I joined ask_me_anything recently and was inspired to respond to this post more at length here.

Living in the Bible Belt in the southern US, I've had every single one of these phrases directed at me multiple times. Even the last one requesting visitors to stand. I was fortunate enough to have a wayward Christian mother who, every couple of years, would go on a new quest to "find the right church," and we kids got to go along for the ride. So yeah, let's break down my reaction to each of these one at a time, shall we?

"Everything happens for a reason." How trite. That's so comforting to hear when something terrible happens. You can think, "Oh, okay. Well, at least I know God's up there planning all my suffering ahead of time. Wouldn't like to think it was just a random act of chance!" And on the flip side, when something good happens it's nice to know that it's all predetermined and that my efforts don't really mean anything. Who needs free will, anyway?

"If you died today, do you know where you'd spend the rest of eternity?" This one is absolute gold. I don't have much to add to what Mr. Piatt said about neither party having the answer to such a question and how asking it is presumptuous and rude.

"He/she is in a better place." People seem torn on this one. I'm not. It makes me angry because it's also extremely presumptuous. Number one, you're assuming the person is going to be comforted by this exclamation. Number two, how do you know? The person who died could've been an asshole. What if they weren't right with God before they died, and the person you're trying to comfort with your stupid platitudes is worried that their loved one might be in hell? Are you really willing to promise them one way or the other? A more appropriate thing to say would be that you're sorry for their loss or that they'll be in your thoughts. Come on people, it's not that hard to come up with something genuine that doesn't come off as placating.

"Can I share a little bit about my faith with you?" I'm actually surprised when they bother to ask first, anymore. Honestly, no. I'm not interested. I've heard it a thousand times before, and your testimony isn't going to be the shining example I've been waiting on to change my mind. Let me talk to you about some of my ideas about religion and see how fast you say thanks, but no thanks. Heck, if you actually listen without interrupting or counter-arguing after I'm done I'll give you a cookie.

"You should come to church with me on Sunday." Yeah, because that would be super fun and not awkward at all. Like Piatt says, if you barely know someone they aren't likely to want to skip dinner and go right to second base with you. Get to know someone before you ask them this, and when you finally do phrase it like an invitation, not a demand.

"Have you asked Jesus into your heart?" More often than not, when someone asks me this it is in an extremely inappropriate situation. Like when I'm working. Or just randomly walking down the street. Seriously? I don't know you, and that is a really personal question. And none of your business.

"Do you accept Jesus as your personal lord and savior?" Again, personal question. It annoys me enough when my religious family members ask me this, much less random Nosy Parker Christian Soldier who just has to witness to everyone and save us all from ourselves. I don't go around asking you if you've reached enlightenment or purged all your thetans or sacrified any babies to Satan, so do me the same courtesy and butt-out of my business.

"This could be the end of days." More often I hear that it is the end of days and that I'd better get right with God, OR ELSE. I know some Christians genuinely believe this and want to impart to me a sense of urgency on the state of my soul, but rushing me down the aisle is not the right way to go about wedding me to the idea that you have the answer to all of my problems.

"Jesus died for your sins." How generous of him. I'll be sure to send him a thank you card. This is really only relevant to someone who's already a believer. You might want to rethink your approach on this one.

"Will all our visitors please stand?" Piatt has it right when he points out that a newcomer may be uncomfortable being singled out. Instead, why not approach them one on one after service and introduce yourself? You never know. Some people might even be there against their will. Like I mentioned above, my mother dragged me to plenty of new churches of various different factions of Christianity throughout my childhood, and I hated being called out every single time. Makes the reluctant even less inclined to give you the time of day.
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Current Location: home
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
Current Music: The National: Rains of Castamere
13 November 2011 @ 03:40 pm
Do you prefer fiction or non-fiction? Explain why.

I prefer fiction because one of the main reasons I enjoy reading is that it provides a way to escape reality for a while. I live in reality. I don't need more of it in book format.
Current Location: home
Current Mood: boredbored
21 September 2011 @ 01:19 pm
It's Stephen King's birthday! Who is your favorite character from one of his books?

I haven't done one of these in forever, but I had to when I saw Stephen King up there. Roland Deschain from the Dark Tower series is by far my favorite character out of anything I've ever read by him. Love, love, love the Dark Tower stuff. It's his best work, IMO.
Current Location: home
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: Adelle: Make You Feel My Love
21 January 2011 @ 08:22 pm
Would you ever take someone back after they cheated on you, and why? What could change your mind?

Like many others, my instant response was "Absolutely not because that is a betrayal I couldn't see myself overcoming, and nothing I know of could change my mind." Then I started thinking very hard about the scenario in relation to my life right now. My answer (much to my own surprise) did not change. If my husband ever cheated on me, I would leave him. The fact that he could do something that would hurt me like that would show me he didn't value our relationship the way I do. And for the people going on and on about momentary lapses in judgment and second chances, my point is that the momentary lapse is enough to be a deal-breaker for me. If you value something, truly find it precious beyond measure, you don't do things to jeopardize that something. Things like cheating. I could deal with my husband coming to me and telling me that he was unhappy with our relationship, that things needed work or even that he didn't think he could be happy with me anymore or that he wanted to try to find happiness with someone else. But he owes me that honesty if he respects me as a person, just as I do, him. Cheating bypasses this idea. It shows a lack of respect and no concern for the other person's feelings. I don't think all cheaters are doomed to repeat this behavior forever, but that doesn't change my feelings about how I would react were it done to me.

Now, I don't believe that monogamy is for everyone, nor do I believe that there can't be cheating in a poly or other atypical relationship. I'm just describing how it would be from my own perspective. The definition of cheating, to me, is simple. It's doing something physical or otherwise with another person or people outside of the bounds of the relationship you've negotiated with your partner or partners. My husband and I are monogamous. We both expect the other to be faithful both physically and emotionally. If things change, we each respect the other enough to be honest about it. If I or he fell for somebody else tomorrow, then the appropriate thing to do would be to end our relationship before doing anything with someone else. Say we were poly. If I or he started to like/find someone else attractive, then we could come to each other to negotiate terms of what was okay and not okay to do with that other person. Communication and honesty are the keys to making relationships work. They really are. And they are also what makes the difference between cheating and an open relationship.
Current Location: BAM
Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
17 January 2011 @ 06:39 pm
Who was your favorite childhood superhero, and why?

This question almost demands several answers because most children go through several phases. When I was very young (I'd say under ten or so) my favorite superhero was probably She-ra, Princess of Power. I don't remember the exact year I first caught Sailor Moon on TV, but I know it started airing in the States in 1995. Sailor Moon and Batman would trade back and fourth as my favorite superheroes from that point forward.
Current Location: BAM
Current Mood: amusedamused
30 September 2010 @ 08:48 pm
I am almost incoherent with rage. Read this post in customers_suck, and you will be, too. I can't even begin to narrow down all the ways that the dad in the story should be tortured before we light him on fire and watch him burn. Just..wow.
Current Location: BAM
Current Mood: enragedenraged
08 September 2010 @ 05:22 pm
This post in childfree made me wonder what other people thought about two things in particular that were brought up in the original post and in the comments. First, in a confrontation with someone in public who gets nasty with you first, would you hold your temper and react calmly or would you get nasty right back? Secondly, are gendered insults a big deal? My reaction to the original post when I read that the sister cussed back at the woman who screamed "Fuck you" to the OP was that she was justified in what she said. I'm usually not great with confrontation and do not go out of my way to seek one out, but my reaction would have been to rip the mother of the coughing kid a new asshole. Sure, I'll totally acknowledge that it's immature to stoop to her level, but honestly, I don't have a problem with that.

For the second one, maybe I'm a bad feminist, but I'm not going to get my panties in a bunch about women calling each other bitches or cunts or whatever. I'm not even going to get up in arms when a man does so, either. The way I see it, if you're acting like a bitch, then you fucking deserve to be called one. Words hold power because we give them that power. On their own they're just words. That's my two cents on the whole thing.
Current Location: BAM
Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
Current Music: "Again" by Yui
22 January 2010 @ 03:56 pm
Top Five Songs with My Favorite Lyrics
(random order)

- "Crucify" by Tori Amos

why do we crucify ourselves
every day i crucify myself
nothing i do is good enough for you
crucify myself
every day
i crucify myself
and my HEART is sick of being
in chains

- "Colorblind" by Counting Crows

I am covered in skin
No one gets to come in
Pull me out from inside
I am folded, and unfolded, and unfolding
I am
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am ready
I am ready
I am...fine
I am.... fine
I am fine

- "Time" by Sarah McLachlan

Time here,
all but means nothing,
just shadows that move across the wall
They keep me company,
but they don't ask of me
they don't say nothing at all.

Leave me be, I don't want to argue
I'd just get confused and I'd come all undone
If I agree, well, it's just to appease you
Cause I don't remember what we're fighting for

- "Upside Down" by Tori Amos

oh, we turn and we turn our little blue world upside down
i said, don't we love to turn our little blue world baby upside down
inside my head a voice
chatter, chatter, chatter, chatter, chatter
and it says girl you're all the same
still coming out of your mothers
still coming out of your mothers upside down

- "Twilight" by Vanessa Carlton

I was stained, by a role, in a day not my own
But as you walked into my life you showed what needed to be shown
And I always knew, what was right
I just didn't know that I might
Peel away and choose to see with such a different sight

And I will never see the sky the same way and
I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday and
I will never cease to fly if held down and
I will always reach too high cause I've seen, cause I've seen, twilight
Current Location: BAM
Current Mood: geekygeeky
11 January 2010 @ 03:08 pm
Do you usually experience a let-down after the holidays or a wave of relief that the social obligations are over?

I was going back through the Writer's Block questions out of curiosity and came across this one. I felt prompted to answer. I am one of the ones who's relieved that the social obligations and total hectic holiday hell feeling is over. I used to really love going to family gatherings and seeing everyone. Now, I am frazzled with all the different places we have to go and fed up with playing nice with relatives and family friends that I don't particularly care for. The best part of my holiday this year was the time I spent with friends during low key evenings just hanging out and enjoying each others' company. I even enjoyed giving them their gifts more because I chose them carefully and knew that they would be appreciated.

My family complains about the lack of time I spend with them. I can't tell them that I avoid them because the vast majority of the time we are together they are talking my ear off about God and Christian values I don't share. Their beliefs about certain topics even hurt and offend me. I rarely say anything when any such topic comes up because I don't want to start World War III or ostracize myself from my family. I really don't know how to deal with the situation any better than I have in the past. I don't want to avoid my family. I love my mother and her parents. I don't want the remaining years I have left with my grandparents to be wasted because we can't agree on what's right and what's wrong. Even my father's side of the family, as small as it has become, is tense when politics or football comes up. It's all so stupid. Any suggestions? I'm generally pretty good at being the peace-keeper, but it's difficult when I want to stand up for myself without hurting everybody else's feelings.
Current Location: BAM
Current Mood: frustratedfrustrated
Current Music: "Gravity" by John Mayer